Alas, Poor Couch

Alas poor Couch, I knew him, Horatio. A couch of infinite slack and questionable repute. Gone now, this couch on whom I kissed how many lips, I know not. Farewell, sweet Couch, and may flocks of, er, the back of my van wing thee to thy rest.

No, this is not The Big Announcement that I've mentioned before.. Though to anybody who's known me for the past three years the fact that I'm getting rid of the ultimate gravity couch of slack is kind of impressive news. Less surprising if you think about some of the other things that have been said lately. No, the Big Announcement should be ready to be, um... announced any day now. I'm just waiting for primary physical confirmation, so that when I tell you all you can rush out and bask in it yourselves. Maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, the flattest couch on earth is waiting in the back of my van until the next time I drive by my old alma matter (That's "college" for those of you who didn't go) where it will be deposited outside the old dorm building. The idea being that the couch went through countless dorm owners before me, so I want to return it into that mystical world where almost nothing is as good as a free couch, The Dorms. College is one of the greatest experience ever, children, as long as you don't waste too much time going to those "Class" thingies.