There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called College. A lot of my more interesting pictures are from my time institutionalized (in the educational sense), because that's the part of many people's lives where the interesting things happen. But to the right there is me in fourth grade, on my way to school. Just to show that I don't learn from my mistakes I just get better at making them there's a picture of me in fifth grade to the right of that.

I'd like to be able to explain to you why I was dressed the way I am in this picture. I'd like that because it would mean I'd know. Seriously, all I really know as far as motivation goes is that Curt and I had talked about going to a dorm party later that night and to kill time I'd started watching Tetsuo: The Iron Man. At some point I put a Ministry CD in the stereo and my entire techno/industrial mp3 collection into Winamp, and then balanced the volume on all three so that I could sit in my favorite chair and hear all three well and listened to the resulting cacophony for a while. At some point after that the roll of duct tape just seemed to be the answer to everything and there you have it. I got some interesting looks at the dance party and met some interesting people. Kids, if you're going to try this at home: Make sure you don't cut off TOO much of your circulation with the duct tape. You need it for something or other.

Boredom, a wire coat-hanger, and a nearly pathological love for the works of Jhonen Vasquez will get you this. In case you're utterly clueless at this point take a look at the t-shirt, then back up at the hair. That is Happy Noodle Boy, and THAT is all the explanation that you're going to get for this one.

Yes, I waited in line all day to get tickets to Episode One, and yes I dressed up as Darth Maul to go to the 12:02 AM showing at the biggest theater in town. I won't argue either the merits of the film (other than to recommend blocking out any parts beginning with "midi" and ending in "chlorians") or the dorkiness of this sort of cosplay here. Both have been discussed to death and nobody's changed anybody's mind yet. Instead I will take this oppurtunity to rant a bit about pride in one's work. When I choose to dress up for a special occasion, be it as a specific character or just a general sort of oddness, I try to go as all-out as I can. Note the fairly accurate multi-layer outfit: kimono with sash/belt over long sleeved shirt and seperate cloak (all items from my closet, mostly bought at Ragstock or Goodwill) and the pattern of facepaint. I admit the red goes a bit down the cheeks farther than it should, but in the magazine I was using as a guide he was leaning forward so it was hard to tell. It really annoyed me to see how many people at the theater I was at and on the news coverage of the opening had dressed as Darth Maul and sloppily painted any old pattern of red and black on their face. It took no effort to find a promotional picture to get the pattern right, but almost nobody did. I know it's no big deal, but if you're going to go to the trouble of dressing up like a freak at least have the pride to do a decent job of it, please.

This is a better shot of the facepaint, you can see that I even did my ears and neck. That's black crayon on the teeth, too. All or nothing, ubergeeks. More importantly though, it's a great picture of Darth Maul holding his kitty cat. Who's the cutest little Lord of the Sith? Whosa widdle furry Jedi-killing kitty-kitty? Awwwwwwwwwww!

Considered by some to be the most disturbing picture of me known to exist. This wacky getup has something to do with a "Internship/Career Fair" which is something they have at colleges that's kinda like an RPG Con, but I never quite got the hang of how you're supposed to play. The hair's still there, it's just in a ponytail. I wouldn't think I'd have to explain that, but people have asked. I have no idea what's going on with my eyes in this photo, but I suspect it had something to do with my soul fleeing when I put on the necktie. Just a guess. I wish I had a picture of the Halloween that I went around with a baseball cap, white turtleneck, and bluejeans. Now that was a good costume.