Just Some Hints

When you make a joke, especially an impromptu and obvious pun, and absolutely nobody laughs in the slightest it is not because your wit is too subtle for the friends and coworkers who seem to be ignoring you. It's because you are completely not funny at all. There are some jokes that everybody has already heard every time certain trigger-phrases are said around idiots like you. You have not made anything original, because you are not clever. So, whatever you do in that stony, awkward silence, do not repeat your joke and do not say "Get it?" For every time you say "Get it?" we will hate you into oblivion. Everyone gets it, because to reiterate: YOU ARE NOT CLEVER. If you need to say "Get it?" you have already failed. Just shut up.

Never tell me I don't have to be so rude or so mean. You have no idea what is necessary. I will sit and stew through an awful lot of annoyances without illuminating the many aspects of your ignorance and urging you to shut up. When I crush your spirit it is because I have been provoked by your continual babble and it seems the only way to make you shut up. I assure you my cruelty to your tender emotions is not only necessary, it is vital to your survival of the discussion. In summary: You can shut the hell up.

Every time you stare or laugh at someone who looks strange to you, dresses different, acts weird, etc. YOU are the one who is a loser. Every time you dress or act strangely just to receive the validation of your specialness from the "normal" people who stare or laugh, YOU are the one who is being shallow.

We are all idiots.

Get it?