Instead of doing any actual writing today, here's a prophecy I wrote a few years ago while in a trance:

The time of reckoning is upon us, the reign of mankind shall fall. Soon the skies shall bleed fire and the gutters will be clogged with the testicles of the unbelievers. Then a goat will be born onto the world with three heads, one of which will be stuck irrevocably up it's ass. Many men shall wonder and speak aloud: "Shouldn't the omen of the goat have come before all the pain and death? Omens after the fact aren't very good omens." And all the men who so speaketh shall become women and shall be nasally raped by the goat with three heads and shall than give birth to flaming station wagons, which will hurt them a great deal, and then they shall devour each other's spinal columns.
These are the last days of the rest of your life.