From HELL!

wait, no... it's from Kip.

From KIP!

hey slacker. i'm doing paperwork for getting my security clearance down here at the lab so that i can see all the x-files stuff they've got locked away. so i'm in the process of getting all kinds of info on like everyone i've ever talked to, every place i've ever been or thought about, and every job i've ever had the misfortune of holding. but as should come as no surprise to you, i will deny ever having known you or troll, for my own sake. everyone else i've emailed latley i've been asking them for info, but i'm just emailing you for fun. once i realized the areaology email address was still valid i checked the site and was amazed to see it still existed and that you even had still been posting 'fun' articles. i haven't read those forever. i especially like any and all references to me. so anyway, i think i discovered something useful that you can post to help out your readers (your mom and I). I think I've found the secret to getting your government security clearance.

On page 14, question 30b:

Have you ever knowingly engaged in any acts or activities desigend to overthrow the United States Government by force? If you answered "Yes", explain in the space below.

Even if it goes against all your good judgement and everything you and your people stand for, you must answer "No" to question 30b, even if you have a good explaination for your actions.