Gnu's World Report

Swamp Monster Halts NZ Highway - "WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- A Maori tribe says construction of a multimillion dollar highway has begun to infringe on the domain of a swamp-dwelling monster capable of causing traffic deaths."
Unfortunately, they seem to imply that the swamp monster will curse the highway, causing more accidents than usual, not that it will cause traffic deaths by stomping across the lanes devouring SUVs. Not very monsterous, really. More like a "swamp wussy spirit-thing."

Scientists Touch Over Internet - "The devices allowing them to do it are called phantoms, which re-create the sense of touch by sending small impulses at very high frequencies via the Internet... It would also have recreational uses, allowing people to touch and feel each other over the Internet."
Apparently this article doesn't want to just come out and say it, but since we ARE talking about the internet here its pretty obvious what the driving commercial use of this technology will be. Since CNN.com is shy I'll give you a little clue: PORN! "For example, trainee surgeons could use it to practice operations via the Internet." My ass! This is technology that will be used exclusively for pornography, cybersex, and slapping people who fall for your link-traps. If you don't know what a link-trap is go here to find out. (Hint: DON'T!)

German Touts Peeing Cure - "A German psychologist is touting a cure for paruresis, fear among men of using urinals... The therapy lasts three months and encourages patients to drink a lot, as well as spend more time in public toilets."
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but if I start seeing any men "spending more time" in public restrooms, just hanging out or whatever, I sure as hell am going to develop this paruresis thing. That's just creepy.