Brick of Meat

As we approach Thanksgiving I'd like to say that there's something magical about turkey loaf. That, and I just noticed that the last time I wrote an update to this page I didn't upload it, so I did now, and sorry about that. But mostly the thing about the turkey loaf.

Turkey loaf is that big slab of meat that comes in a nice foil rectangle tin which you cook for 2 hours to produce a meal that's entirely more geometric than any turkey found in nature. The good kind subtlely reinforces the old racial status quo with the white meat on the top of the loaf and the dark meat at the bottom, yet brings some good moral in that it's all fused together into one loaf of solidarity. The odd but even line of light and dark meat is further proof that this is meat which has been shredded, squished, and overall processed just enough. Every bite is no worse nor better than the previous or next, with a satisfying stamp of factory-approved consistent if not exactly deliciousness than at least yumminess.
Turkies do not generally occur in loaves.

I could say that I ate too much turkey loaf yesterday, except for two things. One is that I realize that my yesterday is what most of you would call "this morning." Two is that I am spindly, so that if you compare mass it may be more accurate to say that too much turkey loaf ate me.

Turkey loaf is for those of us who, when asked if we prefer a breast or a thigh, respond by saying "No thanks, I'd like a hunk!" From which I suppose you can draw your own conclusions.