Guest Week? 1: Words from the Grand Sultan Red Devil

So, you all think it’s easy to be me, huh? Let me set you all straight. How in the hell could it be easy to be me?! I’m the outcast in my family; started this trend when I was 14 and just haven’t quit yet. I’m not a normal mom; no need to explain this one. I wasn’t a normal wife (either of my 1.5 times of being married) since I tend to have more balls than most men. I’m not a normal friend either since I have this foolish idea that I have more fun hanging out with them over chicks. Well, for the most part I do have more fun since I can hold a conversation w/ men and I can’t women; however, it tends to get forgotten that I am still a chick. I still prefer men sexually, for the most part.

Anyway, back to where I was (I think)….I have to change ‘me’ depending on who I’m with everyday, throughout the day. It’s not easy and I’m tired of everyone getting on my case about whatever; just let me be me and let me do as I please for ONCE. I have been in one relationship after another for the past 13-14 years without a break…..I want (NEED?) freedom just once in my life. I need my friends to be there and not get jealous of each other if one of them had more ‘jc fixes’ during the week. The only reason I haven’t moved back home by now is all of my harem. Nothing else. And, they are all moving away one by one, so someday it will be my turn to go as well.

And, for the last time…no, I don’t know what I want yet. Does anyone really? I can tell you that at this exact hour in this given day, I don’t want another fricken relationship in any form but do still have sexual needs to be outright honest. Well damn, I’m almost 30..ya know. I love hanging out with men, I love being with men but to think of another hand-cuffed to his ass; have to know where I am at all times; god forbid I get a few drinks with my friends; ‘damn how many hours are you going to work this week?’; can’t take the trash out atleast once a week even though I’ve done everything else and worked god knows how many hours this week; so routine in bed anymore that I prefer sex with myself; so hard on my kids that he made Big JW resemble my Grandma….relationship. Hell no.

I can say one thing I’ve finally figured out now, though. I will be coming to a point soon where I need to lessen my time focused on my harem. It’s been weeks now; longest being single of my life as pathetic as that sounds. Loving it. But, I have moments (not hours, just moments—cuz, hey..it is still me and I’ve never been known to be a touchy person) now where I would like to be with someone if even just to sit and watch tv with (he,he ….had to put the dangling participle in). When I figure out what I want, I will let everyone know. But, keep in mind, this is me and I like change and challenges so what I want today could be different tomorrow.