These are just things I write, okay? Sometimes they're profound insights
or funny stories and I'm really proud of them. Other times it's mindless
rhetoric that I've since completely changed my mind about and am ashamed
of. But most of the time it's just words.
Today's Fun
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Things to Tell Your Boss When You Call in Sssssiick
"I won't be able to make it into work tonight. I feel like ass."
"There's no way I could even leave the apartment, I'm going to be in bed all day and all night."
"I'm not exactly sick right now, but I'm about to get sick. Like, as soon as I get off the phone."
"Look, there's a woman here in a nurse uniform who says I need to lay down and take my medicine, so I assume I must be sick."
"Well no, not really sick. I mean, I haven't gotten out the handcuffs... yet."
"What screaming in the background? That's the, uh... cat. She's in heat."
"I know it didn't sound much like a cat, but I assure you that yowling came from a pussy."
"Huh?"
"No. Of course I'm just kidding!"
"I really just have a bad flu. *cough* Really."