Today's Fun

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Back in The Day, which sometimes seems longer ago than it really was and sometimes much shorter, I had to walk 10 miles in the snow uphill both ways to write my old webpage, using nothing more than Notepad and a simple ftp client. Wait, that's all I use to write it now. Anyway, the point is that before I had the luxury of paying for server space and my own domain name, my feeble electronic scrawlings were taped up to my student homepage at

When I redesigned the site and for a short while focused more on Bowie's crotch a lot of my collegiate ramblings got left off the site. Now, a mere two and a half years later, I've dredged through my backup folders and restored some of the older pages that may still be amusing, for one reason or another. Please be warned: everything below is somewhat old, pre-millenial in fact, and written by what at the time a less mature and more emotionally unbalanced pyre than you may be used to seeing. Some things never change, but others do. The opinions expressed on the following pages do not necessarily reflect those of the modern-day pyre or the staff of trained monkeys here at

A few words about a summer job.
The story of the stick figure's first days at college.
A few words about originality.
All I really needed to know I learned by reading product labels and packaging.
Another rambling.
A few words of abuse.
Remember virtual pets?
Some wandering pondering.

And finally, returned by popular demand, (Okay, like three people asked in the last two years. Whatever.) The song that I spent way too much time remixing my freshman year is available for download here: Masturbator (mp3, 2.2MB) For the record, I just remixed it with the extra sampling, I didn't do the parodied lyrics and I wish I knew who did.

Nobody ever asked for this one, but I like it so here it is anyway: Elmo vs Ash (mp3, 1MB)