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| The Original David Bowie's Area Webpage |
     
This webpage contains an actual submission from somebody who isn't already a friend of the webmonkey or part of the DBA Institute and therefore should not be viewed by anyone with a heart condition because that's downright shocking.
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THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS
or Boxing Day Visitation
'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through my building
Not a creature was stirring; it was four in the morning.
Stockings were hung on the lampshade with care.
(Whoever had worn them here must now be bare).
Ashes on the sofa, spilled eggnog in the hall--
Did I have a party? I couldn't recall.
Becdecked in my brand-new sheer pink negligee,
I'd decided to pass out for the rest of the day
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to window I did madly dash,
The venetian blinds came down on me with a crash.
The moon on the snow was so bright and so glaring
I suddenly remembered how little I was wearing.
But what 'fore my wondering eyes did manifest
But a tall blonde man who wore even less!
He floated to my window in trousers so tight
I knew in a moment it was Jareth in flight.
His eight tiny goblins waited below on the ground
And they milled around stupidly as the gorgeous king frowned:
"Shut up, Mike, Frizzwold, Scuzzlebutt and Bumbrumbly!
Well, laugh, Clacksie, Toatsie, Mishmallow and Gloatsie!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
Then he drifted inside and leaned on the wall
And his blue-streaked long hair was teased three feet tall.
On his exquisite lips there played such a grin
I grabbed a bathrobe and smacked him on the chin.
And then in a twinkle, I heard out on my grass
The prancing and pawing of each little ass.
"Your minions are trampling my favourite flowers!
Whaddya *want*, Goblin King? We both know you've no power!"
He laughed and from out of his pocket produced
A shiny, round crystal he transformed into produce.
A wink of his eye, and a tilt of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
I spoke not a word; not caring for speech
I gratefully bolted the nice fuzzy peach.
The room spun around me, everything danced--
I was in a ball full of young men in taut pants!
Then Jareth emerged from behind a white spire,
Whirled me around, and handed me a flyer:
"Come shop at Chez Jareth, boutique of the fae.
12% off all spandex on Boxing Day!"
I looked at the towheaded king in surprise
As the magic enhancement fell from my eyes.
Laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, from my window he rose.
An adorable barn owl Jareth became,
And he summoned his goblins to him each by name.
He flew off in the night with his white wings outspread,
Smacking one of his subjects upside the head.
And I heard him exclaim as he flapped out of sight,
"They're no pants at all they don't fit ye tight!"
-Catharine Chen
'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through my building
Not a creature was stirring; it was four in the morning.
Stockings were hung on the lampshade with care.
(Whoever had worn them here must now be bare).
Ashes on the sofa, spilled eggnog in the hall--
Did I have a party? I couldn't recall.
Becdecked in my brand-new sheer pink negligee,
I'd decided to pass out for the rest of the day
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to window I did madly dash,
The venetian blinds came down on me with a crash.
The moon on the snow was so bright and so glaring
I suddenly remembered how little I was wearing.
But what 'fore my wondering eyes did manifest
But a tall blonde man who wore even less!
He floated to my window in trousers so tight
I knew in a moment it was Jareth in flight.
His eight tiny goblins waited below on the ground
And they milled around stupidly as the gorgeous king frowned:
"Shut up, Mike, Frizzwold, Scuzzlebutt and Bumbrumbly!
Well, laugh, Clacksie, Toatsie, Mishmallow and Gloatsie!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
Then he drifted inside and leaned on the wall
And his blue-streaked long hair was teased three feet tall.
On his exquisite lips there played such a grin
I grabbed a bathrobe and smacked him on the chin.
And then in a twinkle, I heard out on my grass
The prancing and pawing of each little ass.
"Your minions are trampling my favourite flowers!
Whaddya *want*, Goblin King? We both know you've no power!"
He laughed and from out of his pocket produced
A shiny, round crystal he transformed into produce.
A wink of his eye, and a tilt of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
I spoke not a word; not caring for speech
I gratefully bolted the nice fuzzy peach.
The room spun around me, everything danced--
I was in a ball full of young men in taut pants!
Then Jareth emerged from behind a white spire,
Whirled me around, and handed me a flyer:
"Come shop at Chez Jareth, boutique of the fae.
12% off all spandex on Boxing Day!"
I looked at the towheaded king in surprise
As the magic enhancement fell from my eyes.
Laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, from my window he rose.
An adorable barn owl Jareth became,
And he summoned his goblins to him each by name.
He flew off in the night with his white wings outspread,
Smacking one of his subjects upside the head.
And I heard him exclaim as he flapped out of sight,
"They're no pants at all they don't fit ye tight!"
- -Catharine Chen
