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| The Original David Bowie's Area Webpage |
     
This webpage contains several pictures of David Bowie's Area, some of them quite revealing, and if you lack the deductive powers to have figured out that clicking on the "Photography" link on a page covered with pictures of David Bowie's Area would lead you to more pictures of David Bowie's Area you probably shouldn't be viewing ANY webpages, schmuck.
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pyre: Here we have an early publicity photo from David Bowie's first band, The Lower Third. Have a look, guys.
Troll: WAAAGHH-ahHAhaha!! HAHAHAAhahaaa.. *THUD* Hahahahaha!! *gasp*
pyre: I think he fell off the chair.
Troll: *wheeze* hehehe hehe *pant* *pant* heh.
CJ: In this picture, we clearly see Bowie--
Troll: WAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Hahahahahhahaaa!! "see Bowie!" AARGHAHAhaha!
CJ: STOP that!
Troll: Hehehehe! Hee-hee! *sigh* woooooo...
CJ: We clearly see Bowie pondering what it would be like to live a normal life, with a normal area. "What if it were only this long?"
Kip: The sign behind Bowie clearly says "Squa" which could be short for "squa in the nuts," a somewhat obscure area reference, in the parlance of our times.
pyre: The "parlance of our times" being South Park references?
Kip: Yes. *glare*
CJ: Sadly, he's sort of right.
pyre: Well, I think it's interesting to note that the very first known publicity photo of David Bowie is so blatantly phallic. The other members of the band don't have any props, they're just standing around looking British, but Bowie's holding that newspaper as a sort of miniature G-rated stand-in as if to say "Good day chaps, take a gander at my groin won't you?"
CJ: Is this really David Bowie's first known publicity photo?
pyre: It's the earliest one I know about, yeah.
CJ: Then that's not really a valid descr--
pyre: Hey Troll! Lookit the picture!
Troll: WHAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! HAHAHHAHAHAAA!!! AAAAAHAHAHA--
Kip: *fwTHANGG-crakk!!* (Mag-Lite(TM) impact sound effect #19)
pyre: Er... Good work. Shall we continue?
Kip: Sure. They named the band "The Lower Third"? I mean, come on, that's got to be Bowie's-Areaistic. Who else's area reaches to the lower third of their body besides midgets?
pyre: Don't you mean dwarves? Midgets are just like people who've shrunk. Dwarves are the ones with the disproportionately short legs.
Kip: You want some of this, webpage-boy?
pyre: Not really, no.
Kip: As I was saying, then, it could be that the "Lower Third" hints at the so-called "third leg", and its position relative to the other two whilst standing at the edge of a precipice or in front of a deep well.
CJ: Good observation, because "lower third" clearly can't refer to a one-third portion in David Bowie's case, since his Area is vastly more than a mere third of his body. This "third leg" being lower concept is quite astute.
Kip: Also, Bowie's not wearing a tie. This likely means nothing.
Troll: oooooough... my ribs? ow.
