Who Are These People?

pyre's Guesses:

• This is David Bowie standing with the surviving members of his Area's hair and makeup staff from The Man Who Fell to Earth. They're listed in the credits under "Special Effects" because the producers didn't want to admit that they needed several dozen people to shampoo and powder David's crotch between takes.
• It could also be the line of people waiting to take legal action against me, Areaology.com, or the DBA Institute. It makes sense that the line starts behind Bowie, but if that is the case there's a whole bunch of people here that I don't know why they're filing suit. Like, almost three of them.
• For a while I thought this could be an areaological math game: You add up the volume of the groins of everybody in each horizontal row and get the same total area volume for every row. That would have explained why Bowie was in a row all by himself, but it doesn't actually work out because no matter how many people are in the back rows you can't add up finite numbers to get infinity. It just doesn't work.

• These people are gathered at dawn to watch David Bowie's Area rise over the rim of the stadium and begin the day. It makes sense that Bowie's Area rises in the morning, because pretty much everybody else's does, too.
• They could be a group of quantum physicists, tailors, and magicians taking a group photo after completing the months of exhausting work it took to make David Bowie a new pair of pants.

• What people?
• Oh, them.
• Who are they?
• Huh? Why are you asking me? You're the one with the picture, stupid.
• What the hell are you talking about? (We apologize for letting the troll speak again. --ed.)

If you'd like to play "Who AREa These People?" email your guesses to WhoArea@areaology.com.