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| The Original David Bowie's Area Webpage |
     
This webpage contains discussions of a possible plan to produce shirts bearing the words "DAVID BOWIE'S AREA" and offer them to loyal fans in exchange for something our accountants refer to as "money." This may or may not be in violation of some copyright David Bowie could have to his name and therefore should not viewed by anyone who wants to sue me over a couple of lousy bucks over breaking even that I might make on the deal. Hey, it was worth a shot, guys. In the immortal words of JCV, "Don't sue me, I'm funny."
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Are YOU in desperate need of a NEW T-Shirt?!
"yep."
Well then you're in luck! Those wacky-ass rat-bastards at the David Bowie's Area Institute have somehow gotten the idea in their bizarrely misshapen little skulls that people might actually want DBA t-shirts! See how much happier David Bowie looks with his brand new t-shirt:
"wow."
Dramatization. Happiness of David Bowie shown is simulated. Actual David Bowie may not be happy to have shirt. Results of shirt on your David Bowie may vary.
David Bowie's Area T-Shirts are available NOW! This seductive black shirt proudly proclaims the object of your affection, "DAVID BOWIE'S AREA", in playful light blue text. Be the first kid on your block to have their very own DBA shirt for only $12! (+Shipping) Wherever you wear your DBA t-shirt beautiful women will want to have sex with you!!
Sure, that would mean a major lifestyle change for some of you, but they're still really cool shirts.
AND if you'd like your David Bowie's Area T-Shirt to have some extra-special bonus glam, you can get it Hand-Decorated with Silver Glitter-paint in any pattern you choose! Our trained Areaologists will add sparkling silver stars, text-outline, personalized messages, arrows pointing toward your crotch, or whatever else you want to your shirt for only $3 more.
To order your DBA T-Shirt send a check or money order for $12 + $2.50 Shipping or $15 + $2.50 for a silver glittered shirt (that $14.50 and $17.50 for the additionally impaired) to:
DBA InstitutePlease specify your mailing address, shirt size desired, and if ordering a glittered shirt describe what kind of glitter design you'd like. (Drawings accepted) Make checks payable to "Brian Williams". Also enclose your email address if you'd like to be notified when your shirt is shipped.
c/o Brian Williams
7653 Cahill Ave
Inver Grove Heights, MN 55076
Shirts are now available in Small, Medium, Large, and Xtra Large.
Naked Time!