Support the David Bowie's Area Institute

Well, now that you've been entertained and enlightened by the David Bowie's Area Webpage, you're probably wondering to yourself something along the lines of "Wow, those insightful people at the David Bowie's Area institute sure have done an awful lot to enrich my life and make the world a better place to live. How do they ever discover so much fascinating and obviously accurate information about the meaning of life and the nature of reality? Isn't there anything I can do to help them out or show my thanks for their services to humanity?"

Okay, probably none of you are thinking that, but it's what you should be thinking. Ingrates.

Let's try this again, all together now wonder along with me:

"Wow, those insightful people at the David Bowie's Area institute sure have done an awful lot to enrich my life and make the world a better place to live. How do they ever discover so much fascinating and obviously accurate information about the meaning of life and the nature of reality? Isn't there anything I can do to help them out or show my thanks for their services to humanity?"

Thank you for asking! How thoughtful of you. You see, here at the David Bowie's Area Institute we use a wide variety of scientific, philosophical, and spiritual research and analytical tools to bring you the absolute best information about David Bowie's Area.
These tools include:

An extensive international network of spies and informants.

Several supercomputers, including that one in Wargames and one that's really really good at chess, though we're not quite sure why.

Substantial payouts to the Yakuza.

Regular doses of hallucinogenic mushrooms and toads.

Anything anybody happens to e;mail us, for any reason.

The executive branch of the United States Government.

Unfortunately, the majority of these resources are quite expensive, as are the additional editors and psychiatrists we've had to bring in to correct pyre's little problem of always typing an extra "a" after every time he types the word "are".
No, really.
So the DBA Institute's accountants have advised us to post the following list of simple ways you can help support the continued success of the David Bowie's Area Institute.

1. Send us money. This is by far the simplest and most direct way to support us. While we realize that most of the fans of the David Bowie's Area Webpage are destitute college students and deranged hobos, we'd certainly hate for somebody to be sitting around with an overflowing bank account eagerly wishing they could send us money only to not be able to because we failed to provide a mailing address. Since the Institute itself has been moving around a bit and may continue do so, we'll provide our accountant's parents' mailing address. Please send checks, money orders, or buckets of currency to:
   
   The David Bowie's Area Institute C/O Brian Williams
   7653 Cahill Ave.
   Inver Grove Heights, MN 55076
   

2. Tell 'em Bowie's Area sent you. For those of you that don't have extraneous amounts of money to donate to worthy causes such as this one, it turns out there's an easy way for you to help increase our funds as well as our own. All-Advantage.com will pay you for the time you spend online, as long as you have their advertising banner at the bottom of your screen. We here at the David Bowie's Institute have been using this service for some time and think it's great. The banner is small and now we get paid for all the time we spend looking up transvestite monkey porn. You also get bonuses for referring people to the service, which means you'd be helping us out, too. So if you want to get paid for wasting time on your computer, All-Advantage.com pays 50 cents/hour. To tell them the David Bowie's Area Institute sent you, put "FOC 396" in the referrer ID field.
   Because really now, you were going to spend 10 hours a day looking at Bowie's Area online anyway, why not get a few bucks for it?
3. Submit to our will. Wait, I mean Webpage, submit to our webpage. Any Bowie's Area related stories, poems, song parodies, or whatever else you'd like to offer for our consideration are appreciated and may even get posted.
4. Spread the Word. Tell your friends about the David Bowie's Area Webpage. Better still, tell complete strangers you see on the street about the David Bowie's Area Webpage! Publish stories about the David Bowie's Area Webpage in your local newspapers. Tell Mtv News about the David Bowie's Area Webpage! (that's going to happen one of these days, I'm sure.) Use the phrase David Bowie's Area Webpage in every sentence of a paragraph!

Just some ideas. Thank you for your support.

Ingrates.