Job Titles

One of the more entertaining things about being unemployed (in case you hadn't figured that one out, I am) is the level of flexibility when people ask you what you do. Not that that's the only good thing about being employed, because there's so damn many. But check this out:

"I'm in customer service. It's pretty boring. What do you do?"

"Me? Well, I'm a writer, and I do a little stand-up comedy on the side."

Did you see how that worked? That was technically the truth. Sure, I haven't had anything published in about two years and I only do this lame amatuer night thing, but now that guy thinks that's actually my job! Why this amazing discovery hasn't gotten me laid yet is a complete mystery. Anyway, check out a few of my other favorites.

"What do I do? Well, I basically play videogames all day. But it's harder than you'd think."

"I don't have what you'd call a regular job, I just gamble. I like blackjack, mainly."

"Well, it's a little complicated actually. Let's just say I'm involved in the porn industry."

"I write and design a webpage."

"I'm chairman of the DBA Institute."

"What do I do? I pretty much just spend most of the business day masturbating."