Morning Commute Home

Eating a McMuffin while driving a minivan.
I don't remember the last time I felt more American.

Speaking of driving, it's a good time to mention that I support euthanasia. So when you're out there driving at dangerous highway speeds I recommend driving even faster. Always drive fast enought that if you DO get in a horrible accident you and all of your beloved passangers will be killed instantly instead of lingering on the scene in painful, mangled agony. How fast is that? Well, it depends largely on the type of car you're driving and what's around for you to hit. A good rule of thumb is the higher your car has been ranked in safety tests the faster you'll need to drive to ensure your life is ended without undue trauma and suffering. And remember, relative velocity on impact is addditive, so it's a good idea to swerve more toward the oncoming traffic on your left than just the buildings or whatever on your right.