2 Hours, 43 Minutes

Okay, so I'm fighting an addiction. A lot of my friends at work are. I've been thinking about my fix all night. All night at work we've been looking at each other and saying "10 more hours!", "9 more hours!", "8 more hours and 57 minutes, goddamnit!" We've been talking about how we're going to get our fix today, just as soon as we can get downtown.

I'm talking, of course, about Cedar Rapids' new Mongolian Grill. Oh god, it's like smack. It's all you can eat, and you just take a bowl up to this magical table where there's a dozen different kinds of raw meat, some noodles, a bunch of veggies, more different sauces than you've probably ever heard of, and an impressive rack of spices. You put whatever looks good at the time in your bowl and hand it to these crazy bastards who throw it on the enormous grill and beat it with sticks! If you like, you can whip an egg at them.

There's so much different stuff you can go back a hundred times and not have the same meal twice. These guys will make you any kind of food you want, as long as you want it thrown on an enormous grill and beaten with sticks. From stir fry pork to barbarque steak to a fine crepe Suzette, they will throw it on the enormous grill and beat it with sticks until it's good and done. Parents dining with small children should be warned not to set their child on the counter by the bowls, as these crazy bastards may very well throw the baby on the enormous grill and beat it with sticks.

2 hours, 27 minutes.

Oh! 2 hours, 26 minutes!