An Honor Just to be Nominated

Well, I'm mildly depressed again. I shouldn't be, I know, but that doesn't seem to matter. It's the Silver Medal Syndrome. I should be proud of the accomplishment for its own sake, it's fairly impressive to make it as far as I did. But it wasn't quite far enough. I was a finalist, a runner-up, part of the international shortlist. I get my hopes up and then get crushed by the rejection. Top 2% should be pretty good. It just wasn't good enough to count, wasn't good enough to change my life, wasn't good enough to be published in multiple countries in the winners anthology. Wasn't good enough to be a Real Writer, apparently. There's a thought, maybe it's the name of the contest that's hitting me so hard...

I want to have hurt feelings, I want to be angry. Instead I just feel weary. I know what needs to be done, but each "No" makes it seem somehow harder. It shouldn't, this should be a sign that it was good and the next time will be better. Logic doesn't matter much, it's still a bummer.

You know, I'd only have to change a tiny handful of words in this post and you'd think I was talking about sex.