Only Funny if You've Played Civilization 3

In a Democracy, you can't use troops to enforce order, war makes people unhappy, and wars against a city's original nation tick people of even more... So basically I'm rolling a few tank squadrons into your town, blowing everything up, seizing control of the local government, and then promptly converting the entire populace into the entertainment industry?

"Sire, I have distressing news. Since the discovery of Motorized Transportation last year, 83% of our national workforce has suddenly begun manufacturing nothing but tanks."
"That IS distressing. Hmmm... Have the other 17% shot immediately."

Every time I play as America it seems that my major opponent late in the game is Persia. Think about where Persia was, and what modern-day Persia is now. That's pretty eerie.

"Sire, people are protesting and riotting in the streets because they object to our multiple perpetual wars."
"Well, if they're so into non-violence tell them to stop riotting and just go sit peacefully somewhere."
"I really don't think they'd listen, Sire."
"Hypocrites."
"If I may make a suggestion, Sire, I think it would make the people happier if we ended our wars."
"Absurd! If we were at peace with all the other nations, who would we test out all these brand new tanks on?"
"That's another thing, actually. Some people are upset that we're building so many tanks instead of schools or hospitals."
"Well, at least that solves the problem of who to test the tanks on... No, nevermind. There's no need to do that because we're not ending the wars. Just pull workers out of the fields, let them relax, have a good time, and tell jokes to the riotters."
Later... "Sire, now the people aren't protesting, but they're starving to death because we don't have enough farmers working the fields!"
"See, now? That'll teach them. You need to learn to choose your battles."