Questioning Everything 101

Good morning, class. My name is Mr. Thompson and I'll be your teacher for this subject, although admittedly that's only theory and should not be accepted as absolute fact. We're going to skip taking roll today because you cannot be expected to concretely know whether you are genuinely in attendance or are merely dreaming, hallucinating, or otherwise receiving falsified sensory input. We'll just leave that sort of tricky situation for later in the term, though I warn you that answering roll call will be part of the final exam, assuming of course that there is a future and that a chain of events allowing for there to be a final exam in this class exists in said future. Well now, let's get started! I do advise you to take notes, as they will provide a documentation trail that, although biased by your own presuppositions, will serve as supporting evidence to the hypothesis that this lesson did in fact take place. Ready?

Today it's my opinion that we'll be covering the implausibility of verbal statements as truth. Or at least that's what I'm telling you my opinion is. It's important to remember that I could be deliberately lying or unintentionally misleading you about the actual nature of my opinion. After all, I am a paid employee of this school, which is part of the government as a whole- A question, Billy?
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Yes, Billy, that probably is exactly what they want you to think. Very observant! As I was saying, the theme of this lesson is that everything that anyone tells you is probably false, including that statement itself. Ah, thank you for joining us, Sally. What do you have to say for your tardiness?
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Hmmm. I'll concede that in the absence of any verifiable evidence to support my position it certainly is just as valid of a belief that you were here all along and the error lies in faulty memory of a possibly inaccurate perception of you sneaking in through the back just now. If you like you may choose to believe I've just awarded you 10 extra credit points for your application of the principles that we possibly had discussed in last week's lesson.

Although time is merely a subjective construct of the human mind with no discernable qualities of existance, we do appear to be running short of it. In summation: always doubt the veracity of anything said to you, especially by a teacher or other authority figure. Your homework for tomorrow is to go home and construct an arguement allowing you to discredit, cast doubt upon, or otherwise intellectually disregard each and every thing that your parents tell you for the rest of the day.