And What Have We Learned?

Today I learned how the "intent processing" system on our new e-mail system actually works. As oppossed to the way most of us had assumed it works, which would be a way that makes some sense. I shall not bore you with the details. Suffice to say that if I did explain how it worked to you, you would not understand it. Not because of any fault or mental deficiency of your own, and not because the explanation would be incomplete, but merely because the method is so completely fucking retarded that your brain would refuse to accept that it's actually designed that way, and try to substitute in something less crappy. This has been the response of everyone I've explained it to, and my own response when it was first explained to me. In every case the moment of realization was accompanied with an exclaimation of "Wait, WHAT?!?" That's how bad it is.

Yesterday I learned that if you need to vomit at work (or most anywhere else with a public restroom), go for the handicapped stall. They have these great metal handles to grip while you're spewing.

The day before that I learned that if you have no lemonade to mix your hard liquor with so it's not so strong, "Mike's Hard Lemonade" does not serve as an adequate substitution.