Stumpy B. Round reviews Civilization 4

Civilization 4 came out a few months ago, and pyre was recently given a copy for some human holiday or another about a guy being born in an evergreen tree. Whatever. The important part is that I, the world-renowned game reviewing monkey Stumpy B. Round, have stolen his copy so that I could play it and review it for you, the ignorant public. This will be shorter than my usual reviews, because I'm doing it here instead of at an actual gaming site which could be actually paying me, at least until it collapses under the weight of its founder's incompetance and ego.

Anyway, yeah, the fourth Civilization game is out. Is it good? Is it bad? It doesn't fucking matter, you half-wits. It's Civ. If you are the sort of person whose brain is wired with Civ-receptors then this game will fill the turn-based-strategy-game-shaped hole in your being. As I understand it these holes vary in size from Fairly Large to Absolutely Gianormous. By this point in time you should probably already know if you like playing Civ games or not. If you do, you'll like this one. In fact, you'll probably get the endorphins flowing just unfolding the chart with the tech-tree. The game is full of things that make Civ be Civ, and some underlying improvements that we've been clamoring for all along. I don't really feel the need to get into specifics here. If you want to conquer the world starting at the dawn of civilization, this is the best game out there to do it in.

There, I wrote your goddamned review, now put the CD back in. Bastard.