Guest Rant

Today's Fun sent in by Areaolosketeer Jaime:

Okay, so a while ago I was reading one of those trashy chick magazines that I only read if I'm in a doctor's waiting room, which I was, and I came across an article entitled "Why Go for a Geek" or something along those lines. The article went on to list all the reasons a hot chick who reads Cosmo should consider dating a geek, including things like, "He's less likely to have an STD," "He'll treat you better because he'll be so grateful to have you," "He'll be more sensitive to your needs since he's such a wuss," things like that. I didn't know what to think. This article disturbed me for many reasons. The main reason being I, personally, have always been attracted to geeks simply because we have more in common. I'm a geek too, and I can handle that. But if Cosmo or whoever goes around telling sexy popular chicks to start dating geeks, what will that leave girls like me? Sexy, popular guys? They don't want me. They want the sexy popular chicks. Duh. And I don't really want them either. (I guess the term "sexy" is subjective here because I consider the guys most people consider "geeks" to be the sexy ones.)

Okay, reason number two: If a guy who is considered a geek got ahold of this article, don't you think he'd be offended? Look at the reasons they give. They're not telling you to date geeks because they're intelligent and interesting and have a witty sense of humor, they're telling you they're "safe" and "obedient" and you can pretty much stomp all over them. That's just not right. I've known some geeks who could hand you your ass if you mistreated them. You get really good at the sarcastic retort if you're always getting slammed and rejected.

Reason three: Are most women who read these magazines actually emptyheaded enough to change the type of guy they look for just because a magazine told them to? Okay, yes. Moving on... #4. Women who aren't really into geeks deep down will probably try it for awhile and move on, leaving a lot of broken-hearted men in their wake. They could also uneccessarily inflate a lot of egos. As much as I love geeks, they can still be assholes at times and if they get a hot chick once, they may never settle for less. (Again, "less" is subjective. We're talking looks here. Clearly a somewhat attractive girl who's interesting, intelligent, funny, etc. wouldn't be considered "less" than an uber-hot chick with no brain and the personality of a brillo pad. At least I would hope not, anyway.)

#5. Back to those reasons they gave: "They're less likely to have an STD." Yeah, maybe, until you or some other slut that's screwing geeks for a change of pace gives them one. I'm going to put myself into these women's $128 shoes for a second and also say that if they're less likely to have an STD, wouldn't that mean they'd have less sexual experience and may therefore not be good in bed? (Of course, these women would not know what I know, which is that sometimes repressed sexual tension comes out with a hell of a bang.)

And the final reason I'll mention: Poseur geeks. Yes, there are actually guys out there who fabricate a geek image just so they can get these girls that are suddenly after geeks. I've seen them. They wear thick-rimmed black glasses with no lenses and T-shirts with 80's icons on them and listen to The White Stripes. But if you ask them what a d20 is or whether they prefer Vonnegut to Bradbury they get that glazed look in their eye.

I could go on and on with this but I think you see my point.