Tp your house: A Conversation

T : so....limp bizkit?

p : A friend and I were sitting down and taking turns making snide comments about them, like we had with some of the other bands.
p : As much as I hate to say it, they were worse than limp bizkit.

T : how about kid rock?
T : how about kid bizkit? limp rock? homosexuals?

p : The description I used, and what reminded me of this in the first place, was "Joe's band kicked a lot of ass up there. But if you took all of the ass that they had kicked, added some more ass to that ass, let's say you added all of the ass in a Sir Mix-a-lot video... This band took ALL of that ass and sucked it."

T : that's a big vacuum

p : It was like Limp Bizkit being played by a bunch of junior high kids who are retarded enough and tone-deaf enough to actually like limp bizkit enough to try to play like them, in their garage or something.
p : We ridiculed them thru 3 or 4 songs, then when they started fucking up a cover of Tool's "Eulogy" I yelled "That's it!" and stormed out of 3rd St Live with my arm in the air displaying a middle finger behind me (until well outside of the building).

T : did it help?

p : The bartender and a couple of bouncers looked at me funny, as well as people on cellphones outside of the club.
p : So, yes.

T : great!
T : john kerry looks like odo in that picture

p : Don't commute to work today. Instead, stay home and play games and watch cartoons, or maybe we can go to the zoo. (Tip submitted by Tommy, age 4.)
p : Yeah, I believe I have mentioned before that he is a homonculus.

T : yes, but not that he also was trying to arrest Quark!

p : I heard he did that Botox thing to get rid of some of his wrinkles. That probably has something to do with it.

T : and also he shifts shapes and sleeps in a bucket

p : You know, injecting poison INTO HIS FACE and all.
p : Those are 2 more stirling reasons to vote for him.

T : in addition to him not being bush?!

p : Extra icing on the reason that is such delicious cake, the not-Bush reason.

T : i think that's a pretty strong platform

p : Just think about it. It's a miracle!

T : along with the shapeshifting

p : And also let us not forget the gelateny.
p : Gelatenousiness?

T : maybe he could fangoriously devour bush in a wild fight to the death!

p : Isn't that the magazine about cheesy splatterfest horror movies?

T : er....what is?

p : Fangoria. You said "bush" and "death" in the same sentence, so this conversation is now flagged by the NSA.

T : crap, i didn't even think about that one
T : but hey! so did you!

p : And WeiLei corporation. I mean- no it isn't!

T : who?

p : Nobody. Certainly not a multinational evil corporate conglomerate which rules our lives.

T : er...oil cartels?

p : Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!

T : cheny?
T : oh if only he were made up

p : "And I can't believe how many of you thought Ari Fleischer was an actual human being!"

T : who is ari fleischer?

p : White house spokesperson (former? not sure) and utter cockmongrel.

T : ah, like that rumsfeld guy?

p : No, rumsfeld has an actual job besides saying stupid stuff at press conferences. Ari's entire job was saying stupid stuff at press conferences.

T : oh, like bush?

p : Yes, much more like that.

T : got it, i think i am beginning to understand politics!