pL pT, Two Conversations

L : attention: booty call for kip currently in progress. brace your persons/pirate ships/squids

p : pirate booty or female booty?

L : unfortunately just the female kind

p : I think when there's a female booty call, yer not supposed to be on icq. Yer supposed to be, for instance, tapping that ass like it was your neighbor's cable.

L : hahah she's on her way over here =P

p : What manner of lies and eldritch might accomplished THAT?

L : lets just say that my soul was exchanged to a certain elder...thing...that i found in this portal i never noticed in my closet

p : Okay, then I can still have some faith in the universe working the way it should. I mean, if you had just talked to this girl or something, that would be unsettling.

L : well, i saw her at a bar order a guiness and i knew i had to talk to her. but first i talked to that elder guy

p : This time we ARE sure she's a woman, right?

p : Wait a minute... she's old enough to be in a bar? Who are you and what have you done with Kip?

L : well, it was karaoke night, and they don't kick the kids out till 11pm. but she claims to be 27

p : Well, good luck. And let me know if you need more visual aids.

L : i better go refresh myself on those

p : Read the words on them this time. Those are the things that look like pictures, but aren't.

L : oh, like magic eye pictures

p : Yes, kip, it's the magic of reading!

L : "Reading opens up a rainbow of adventure!" - Lt. Cmdr. Geordi LaForge

p : I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, and thanks to this book I'm never opening another book again. Reading sucks ass! --Officer Barbrady

L : true story

L : reading is totally gay - cartman

p : So is this call of the booty like a first date, or have you actually seen her other than the bar/guiness incident?

L : actually, "______(insert any noun) is totally gay" -also by cartman

L : it's actually like a 5th date or something, in as much as a girl coming over to my place at 10pm is a 'date'

p : Well, I was just gonna give you mad props if it was straight from bar pickups to booty calls without, you know, movies/concerts/dinners inbetween.

L : there was one movie&dinner date

p : Well good then.
Meanwhile, I'm fighting cleaning equipment in an attempt to get a disembodied brain.

L : whoa, time magazine says there's a Nudist Christian Church of the Blessed Virgin Jesus

L : kol?

p : Which I can then put in a skull, which I can than put in a box on a spring, give a cocktail mixer to, and have it make me drinks.

p : Yep.

L : http://www.wizards.com/magic/autocard.asp?name=ashnod's%20coupon

L : best card evar

p : I think you showed me that one. Still awesome.

L : alright, danielle is here, later yo

p : Cya.

* * * * *

p : I was just talking to kip. Were you as well?

T : no

T : i just made dr. quest in city of heroes

p : Do you know what he would have me believe he is doing right now?

p : bahahaha! sweet.

T : mmmm......having sex with a girl?

T : i think my gravy fair is broken

p : Well, he didn't claim the sex exactly, but a woman is in his apartment!!

T : is it a man dressed as a woman?

p : Note: not girl. he claims she claims to be 27.

T : because i'd buy that

T : if she claims to be 27 and look 27, she's damn near 40

p : But it's kip we're talking about here, and my point is she's not 14.

T : ok, crazy shit, i put in google: zerowhore, for no reason at all, and got 5 hits

T : but it's a man dressed as a woman, right?

p : Apparently tho, he says the initial attraction came when he noticed she ordered a Guiness.

p : So in other words, yes.