I think my computer chair eats ideas.
You should be very upset at it for eating ideas.

You see, when I'm at work, or at a restaurant, or driving, or otherwise AFK, I'll think of funny and occasionally thought-provoking things to write about. The ideas will pile up and by the time I get home there's a whole bunch of them to choose from.
But then I sit down.

As soon as I'm sitting at the chair in front of my computer all the ideas are gone. I'm lucky if I can remember even one of the things I'd wanted to write about. Frequently I can't do more than clutch at the recollection that there was something I'd wanted to write about, then give up and try to think of something on the spot. The chair ate my good ideas. That's when you get to read things like this, structureless ramblings that don't have a point.
That's gotta suck, you should be mad at my chair.