Other Worlds

(Incidentally, It's after 5:00 AM and I can't sleep. Apparently that is what it takes for me to do an update this month. Ahhhh, just like the Good Old Days.)

I find a need to spend time in other worlds. Existences you'd call imaginary but I tend to think of as merely separate. Maybe it's a way of coping with, or perhaps only ignoring, the unsatisfactory aspects of this world. That meant what you'd probably think of as the actual world when I first typed it, but let's jump a step further. This World is for the moment going to refer to a small black room. Like others before it, my bed and computer are in it. While you can always make the arguement that the world for you is bound by your senses and perception, This World truly is little more than darkness and my thoughts. This is where I desperately just want it to be tomorrow, yet I often fear I'll be getting there the hard way.

The easy way is that time-travelling shortcut often known as sleep. The hard way involves rolling over dozens of times, getting out of and into bed more than necessary, attempts at distractions and time passers. Ultimately it all just creates a need for another world. A world where my solitary thoughts are not my worst enemy. I've been trying to spend as much time as I can in one particular other universe, but it's hard at times. Almost everything I most dearly want, I'm also afraid of. It was designated years ago, but I am still Fear. This World proves that more than anything. Now I'm afraid of my escapisms turning to disappointment and frustrations. Where do you run to then? Am I still only running?

I ought to make it toward something.
That seems to be the refrain of late. Didn't know it was where I'd end up this time out. Ah well, you place yer bets and takes yer chances. I have a lot to do, and unfortunatly am not in the shape to do it without sleep first. Time for another attempt at that, I guess. Sorry about the 20 days of silence, by the way.