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or funny stories and I'm really proud of them. Other times it's mindless
rhetoric that I've since completely changed my mind about and am ashamed
of. But most of the time it's just words.
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Bachelor Cooking 101
For the adventurously lazy, a possible new recipe. For the ladies in the audience, a possibly horrifying look at the way a single guy's mind works.
Recently a had the often-incurred problem of having a supply of really great polish sausages, but no hotdog buns. The immediate solution is to use a slice of bread, but of course I was out of bread too. Previous Bachelor Chef Wisdom for this crisis involves a fork and taking the bottle of mustard with you to the dining area (ie, couch, computer desk, whathaveyou). However, all amazing new bachelor recipes began with the same question: What DO I have in the fridge? and so this is what I asked myself.
I had tortillas. Or, as I like to call them, tortillas. (That time I pronounced the L's like L's instead of Y's.) I had tortillas because I like making quesadillas (tortilla and melted cheese, wrapped or folded) so I also had shredded cheese. Now, I cold have just wrapped a tortilla around the polish sausage, but where would be the fun in that? So here's what you do:
1. Wrap polish sausage (or hotdog or bratwurst, if you're a soulless heathen) in paper towel and microwave for 1 minute (or so, depending on microwave strength).
2. Lay tortilla flat on microwave-safe plate. If you have one. A paper towel would work here as well.
3. Spread thin layer of shredded cheese on tortilla. Leave enough room at edges that it won't run over edge when melted.
4. Microwave tortilla w/ cheese for 1 minute or long enough to melt cheese. (Shear manliness of your microwave may vary.)
5. Unwrap polish sausage from paper towel (important!). Place in center of melted cheese on tortilla.
5 1/2. Optional Step: Add mustard, pickle relish, chopped olives, small children, whatever other garnishes you have on hand.
6. Wrap sides of tortilla up around polish sausage. Press down on outer flap so that the melted cheese bonds in to inner flap.
7. Stuff it in your big fat face.
I was also going to give you my recipe for a little dish I like to call Ramen Noodles Diced Pear and
Bone A Petite!