Interesting Combinations

Well, New Year's Eve is fast approaching, and that of course means one thing: wanton debauchery. An important thing to remember with your wanton debauchery, and something that many amatuer debauchers screw up, is that you do your debauching in such a way that it doesn't interfere with your potential to perform future debauches at later dates. And so, with that in mind, I feel obligated to discuss an important issue: Condoms. It has come to my intention that abstinence-only sex education is becoming more prevelant and thus failing utterly to give teenagers any practical information about condoms. Once again I shall step in to provide this sadly lacking information that is so vital in this modern society. Here is a list of items which are fun to purchase along with your condoms to make sure you get a really funny look from the cashier:

Duct Tape (a personal favorite)
Whip Cream or Chocalate Sauce (Somewhat cliched, but easily understood)
Alcohol (the harder the better, bonus points for everclear)
More Condoms (get at least four 12-packs and wink at the clerk)
Gatorade and Powerbars (goes good with the "More Condoms")
Halloween Candy (trick or protection)
Harry Potter Books/Toys (especially if you drive a van)
Dog Collar (is it just kinky or really for a dog...)
NyQuil or Extra-Drowsy Sudafed (big fucking Q!)
Magic: The Gathering Cards (because no one person actually uses both these items)
Drano, Garbage Bags, and a Shovel (don't ask)
Liver (suggested by CJ)
Yogurt and Scrubbing Bubbles (suggested by Riatch)
Diapers (suggested by Mike)
Any Kind of Live Animal (Mike again)
Sandpaper (Mike's pretty sick, really)
Laxatives (ok, I'm even grossing me out now)
Thumbtacks (sometimes they don't stay on so well)
All of the Above.