3/16/04

Surrounded by men, they are everywhere. Why then do I still feel like I’m lacking and falling to the bounds of loneliness more and more as the days go by? Between my three best buds, every need I have as a woman is getting fulfilled except one. Can’t I just be happy with that 99%? One of them covers the arguing need in me, the having someone around who is worried about my hurting myself somehow (emotionally more so than physically), and who likes to just sit and hang w/ me and watch a little tv just doing nothing but being together. Another fulfills the need for laughter and letting me talk till either I figure out a resolution for any issue or just decides himself what needs to be done and convinces me to do it. And the last one used to fulfill the need to have similar interests and life issues and fun to hang with, but now just fulfills the sexual needs. Wish it were different but it’s not anymore. Things have changed between us regarding our friendship and I’d almost rather go back to the way things used to be but yet there are still a few small things I get from him that I needed for awhile. Just the stupid little comments and stuff that women tend to need off and on to make them remember they are a woman.

Anyway, got sidetracked. Sorry. I just wish the thoughts going on in my head to settle down and try to find someone worth my time would go away and let me live my current life. I was happy, so why can’t it stay this way?