4/11/04

I love playing card games and some computer games, even a couple PS2 games but mind games is not a game I am fond of. If you have something to say, why not just say it especially if it affects your life in some way? If who you want is not a possibility, why continue to play head games with the person you can’t have? If you figured out that the ‘no strings attached’ nonexistent relationship is going too far, just tell her that. No need to remind her over and over again that you are a Player and always will be. All this will do is hurt her ego (unless that’s part of the plan) and put a glitch on your actual friendship with her. On a different note, if you still care for her but she has already said the two of you are not a realistic picture, why get drunk every time you are around her (is that the only way you can tolerate being around her?) causing an argument or frustration on her part from things you say and won’t remember? All this is going to do is cause her to not invite you to hang out for fear of what you might say or do that given night? Another question…if you are her bestfriend and have decided that you only want her to be with and around you but you know this will never actually happen, why keep pressuring and pushing her day after day? All this will do is end your friendship with her period. With all the unsaid things that could have been said but either weren’t or were said offensively, it’s no wonder she has become leary during every conversation with every man in her life lately. All she can think is ‘I wonder what was the hidden meaning in that sentence or action’. She wonders too often lately why she would even want to get involved with anyone if she can’t even understand her own male buds’ thinking. At one point in time every bud she had gave her a piece of what she would need in a relationship so she didn’t need to get involved with anyone, but that time has passed. All she wants now is a companion to make her smile, hold her, romance her, and get her from thinking that all she has is her friends. She wants more and is hoping the drama her friends bring to her life won’t stop her from finding exactly that.