8/15/04

Contentedness?

All I really have to say to update my journal is to listen to Three Doors Down's song "Away From the Sun" but I'm assuming that won't cut it. I love my new job and am making pretty decent money and receiving more extras than I ever did at MCI. I have a better relationship w/ my family now than I've had in many years. I spend more time w/ my kids now and love being w/ them almost every single minute. I've finally learned how to speak "their languages". I have a currently stable home and can drive anyone of 3 vehicles depending on my mood not to mention the motorcycle. Why is it that although I have everything else that I need in life, it's always the aching loneliness that never lets me forget what my biggest weakness is? Why can't I just settle for being single for awhile and stop thinking about being involved w/ someone when I see a couple holding hands and when I hear all the hundreds of love songs that continue to play on each and every radio station? I'm not pittying myself. I'm upset w/ myself. I just want to be satisfied w/ what I have and not jealous of what others around me have, for once. Someone make that happen...please.