I know, I know. I haven't been writing enough. Not here, not emailing friends and family, not working on any of the half-assed, half-written stories I have laying around. I guess you could say I've been in a bit of a funk. When I take a long, hard look at my life I realize that I'm really not where I ever expected or wanted to be. Do you know what I mean? As a younger man I'd thought that by this point in life, with all the time I've had to accomplish things, I'd be eating children whenever I wanted to, but lately I have a hard time scrounging up a small child to devour even just once a week.

There are so many avenues of false accomplishment open to us. Video games and role-playing games are great fun, but sometimes if you're not satisfied with your life they can be a way to make you feel like your succeding while keeping the real thing from you. I know how cool it can be to talk about what level your characters are up to or how many worlds you've conquered or what difficulty you fragged them all on, but the more time we spend taking the easy road to a fleeting sense of accomplishment the less likely we are to really do anything, the less we pursue real life goals and the fewer children we eat. Games are fun, but try not to fall below your Recommended Daily Allowance.

One thing I definately know is that people are going to annoy each other. It happens all the time. Some advice: When somebody's pissing me off and I'm in a situation where I can't inform them as to just how much of an idiotic jackass they're being I remind myself of one thought. "Savour this bitterness they're giving you now, because it will make their children taste all the sweeter later."

Sure, I talk an awful lot about eating children. I mean, who doesn't? But I really do want to have kids of my own eventually. I hope to have a lot of them, enough that a few survive my devouring long enough to grow up and eat children of their own someday.