"Look at this picture of my baby! Isn't she just darling?"

"I don't know."

"What? She's so cute! Isn't she cute?"

"I suppose I'll take your word for it. I'm not really one to judge such things."

"Such things?"

"You know, babies."

"Don't you like children?"

"Children are well and good, once they get to a nice eatin' age, but-"

"What age?"

"Nevermind, my point is that actual children can be quite enjoyable, but I'm essentially indifferent to babies."

"You don't think she's cute?"

"Yes, but note the difference between that and thinking that it's not cute, which I'm also not doing. I haven't thought about the baby one way or another."

"How can you not like babies? They're all so adorable!"

"There aren't any ugly ones, in your opinion?"

"No, they're sweet little darlings."

"So your particular baby is no different than any other drooly human larva?"

"Well, I think she's the cutest!"

"On an impartial scale of adorability, or only because it happened to come out of you?"

"Well, I mean everybody loves their own baby best. I suppose she's probably not the absolute cutest, but even if I wasn't biased I'd say she's cuter than most."

"Then a varying scale of cuteness is present amoung the little crotch-spawn?"

"That's an awful thing to call them! But yes, some babies are cuter than others."

"Since, by your own words there's babies that are more cute and babies that are less cute. Is it not valid then, to refer to the infants that are the least cute as Ugly Babies?"

"That's not very nice."

"Which tends to support its veracity. It would seem we've concluded that there are indeed Ugly Babies."

"What? I haven't concluded anything, I just wanted to show you a picture of my daughter!"

"Yes, and to ask me if it was cute. Were you attempting to find out if your offspring was an Ugly Baby?"

"No! She's adorable!"

"But you've admited to being biased in regards to the attractiveness of your own infantile descendents, so you were likely seeking an impartial third-party opinion to stave of your evident doubts and fears that your whelp was in fact one of the Ugly Babies."

"She isn't! Stop saying that!"

"You seem uncomfortable whenever I use the phrase Ugly Babies. If it has nothing to do with your denial of the knowledge that your own baby is truly ugly it must just be due to an unfamiliarity with the phrase itself. Since we've proven Ugly Babies is a valid phrase used to describe a certain portion of the baby population and babies seem to be amoung your primary interests, I will help you become more comfortable with the phrase Ugly Babies."

"What are you talking about?"

"Desensitization. It seems to work with violence and swear words. Listen carefully: UGLY BABIES!! UGLY BABIES!! UGLY BABIES UGLY BABIES UGLY BABIES!"

"You jerk!"

"UGLY BABIES! UGLY BABIES! UGLY UGLY BABIES!!"

"I'm leaving!"

"UGLY BABIES!!!!!!"